As the world settles into its new reality of life with the coronavirus, talk is turning to open up the economy and resuming a semblance of normal life while maintaining control over the spread of the deadly epidemic. For businesses such as retail outlets, this involves markers for appropriate line spacing, sanitizer, and reduced store capacity, but for young adults in the modern hookup culture, more innovative solutions are being sought.

Many businesses related to dating, swinging and other adult activities are looking for solutions by looking to the past and reinventing the Glory Hole. A Glory Hole has a history reaching back to the early 70s for a variety of sexual fantasies ranging from random sex with strangers to a for people to have gay relationships without having to be face to face with another person. Over the last 40 years, they have fallen out of favor as swinging and gay relationships have come more out into the open and are more widely accepted, however, there is a sudden interest in 2020 with the rise of the pandemic.

A Glory Hole in its most simple form is a hole through a wall where a man can stick his penis to receive oral, vaginal or anal sex from a person on the other side. Traditionally the wall served as a visual barrier to hide who is on the other side. Today, that is becoming a protective barrier to prevent illness. According to Dr. Schlonger, “We can not make all young people stop having casual hookups for the next 18 months, so anything we can do to increase social distancing even a little is a step in the right direction.”

While there is no science to back up the effectiveness of this solution, it is not stopping people looking to get back to the action. This is a respiratory disease and according to the CDC, it is not known to be transmitted through bodily fluids including semen. We know coronavirus is spread by the air and droplets we exhale and a condom does nothing to stop you from sharing air with the people you are having sex with, but a wall may just do the trick.

Modern Twist On An Old Classic

Modern Glory Hole design has shifted a little bit from traditional design. Historically it was to protect the identity of who was on the other side, now it is to protect them from the virus. This change has caused an increased interest in adding a clear panel two the wall to act as a window so you can see your partner on the other side. In a quick online survey of members of the hookup culture, 73% of respondents thought that the window would make for a much more enjoyable experience while 27% said that the erotic idea of being deprived of sight sounded more enjoyable.

Additionally, modern designs are much more user friendly. With modern building materials anyone can pick up a thin piece or shower wall or plexiglass to create their own Glory Hole, This thin material gives much more range of motion and better sensations than the older thicker walls they used in the past which were often normal walls or bathrooms stalls with a hole cut into them. When it comes to Glory Holes, the thinner the wall the better. Experts recommend, however, if you are using a very thing wall to wrap the edge of the hole with tubing or tape to prevent scraping the jewels.

Going Mainstream?

The global economy is going through a lot of changes right now and one of the hardest impacted sites is the travel industry. Even when the coronavirus has passed, experts expect it to take years for the tourism industry to pick up as people have fear of travel.

This has lead shuttered hotels to become overflow hospitals during the height of the pandemic, but as hospital demand wains and tourism has not picked up the hotel industry has is searching for ideas. Several small hotel outfits and at least one chain are looking to become “safe hook up centers” to supplement their income during this time. There is talk of these hotels working with large hook-up apps online to offer room locaters where couples can find a Glory Hole ready room. Because of low demand for hotels currently, many of these rooms will be available by the hour, something normally unheard of by respectable establishments and they will be offering 2 for 1 deals. You would be able to book your rooms through your app on your phone and do online check-in. Upon arriving (hopefully separately) you will each be given a key to your own room attached by a glory hole. This will give you an opportunity to fully enjoy your encounter and afterward have your own space to shower and sanitize to further reduce your risks.

Cheerful brunette texting her boyfriend

Speaking on a condition of anonymity, one hotel executive was very excited about the idea. “We do not expect this to replace the income from a full hotel, but if this proves successful, we may keep a few Glory Hole rooms open in the future as an additional revenue stream. There are many times of people and we would like to accommodate them all”

Yes, this is all satire, but please share. I am sad I live in a world I need to declare that.